I’ve been silent for quite some time. I haven’t written anything in months. But I’ve been living. Listening. To real stories. People that I have met through travel. Through work. Through social media. People who suffer panic attacks. Who have attempted suicide. Who numb their pain by taking antidepressants. Because nobody is there to show them the way out of their deepest fears. Too often do we judge others by their behaviour, without really knowing or seeing the full picture – the deep suffering that lays behind the exterior. After all, we’re all ultimately looking for the same thing – joy. A quest for many impossible to complete.
What pushed me into writing this post was you. You my dear colleague. My dear follower. My dear stranger. My dear friend. Observing you. Listening to you. Feeling you. Your heart-wrecking story. Your anguish and despair. I want to help you, but I cannot help you. You. Only you can help yourself. All I can do is understand my fallouts and my growth. My transformation throughout the years. The different stages of my spiritual awakening. That led me here today. Writing about a formula that works. My recipe to joy.
We shall never find joy if we keep running away from ourselves. We cannot change the external environment, but we can and we need to change our inner world. Because everything that happens outside of us, is ultimately a projection of our inner world. Our perception of things, people and circumstances can be altered, consciously.
Using extracts and tips from world famous scientists, spiritualists and gurus, here is a list of tips which have proven to help me find wholeness; that inner joy we’re all in search of.
1. NEGATIVE CLICHÉS AND QUANTUM PHYSICS
Whatever insecurities you hide behind your persona, will surface and resurface in different contexts, like a cliché. Imagine that you see yourself as extremely unattractive. This cliché is deeply rooted in your soul. Thus, you will feel that everyone around you looks at you and only you, and constantly judges you because of your physical appearance. Somebody’s joyful laughter in your eyes will appear as mockery. Two people whispering to each other, will be automatically related to you being ugly. Somebody will make an unpleasant grimace because their stomach hurts, but you will wonder about their ridiculing thoughts about you. Because it is all about you. As if the whole universe conspired against you. Or is it? Actually nobody even cares how you look. This is all in your mind. It’s your deformed perception of reality. “Every person is 90% busy thinking about their own persona, just like you are. Even when you are interviewed for a job, the person in front of you is more busy playing their role and thinking about their own performance and appearance, rather than yours.” (Zeland, Transurfing, 2012)
Take a moment to identify your negative clichés. What don’t you like about yourself? What personal qualities and insecurities are you hiding from the world? In a conscious state they are very easy to identify. If you fight them, they will become even more present. Call this ‘law of attraction’ or ‘quantum physics’, but all you need to do is to create balance, and the only way to do that is to transfer your attention from your ‘negative qualities’ to your ‘positive qualities’. When you’ll think about everything that you love about yourself, you will change the direction of your thoughts and attention, thus the importance of whatever you are focused on, your perception, will change accordingly. This process will balance out the energies and eradicate your negative clichés from the subconscious mind.
Vadim Zeland calls this “Reality Transurfing” – a quantum physics concept which explains that our everyday actions depend largely on just how we react to given events. To maintain balance in life, we must limit the degree of importance of any event. If we put too much importance onto something, we will suffer. For instance, when we dwell on what we don’t want, visualise what we fear, that thing will eventually occur, as we move ever closer to the life-track containing just what we have imagined might happen. Importance is the most challenging factor. To achieve balance in our lives, we must be vigilant, diligent and conscious about the level of importance we put on things. Yes, we can desire things. But working up our nervous system about what we do not want, what we fear, or what we want too much, will eventually harm us.
2. CREATE A STATE OF BALANCE AND ALTER YOUR THOUGHTS
Thoughts are energy. Universal energy. This energy is processed throughout our body creating our reality. By altering our response to situations through our thoughts, emotions, and actions, we also change our experience of every situation. Being conscious of our thoughts and using our own power of the mind to alter our experiences, has the potential to dramatically alter the course of our life journey.
When we are neutral and when we do not put too much importance on things, people, places and circumstances, we create a state of balance. When we stop expecting, we stop being disappointed. When we find this beautiful state of neutrality, we automatically enter into the natural flow of life. In such a flow, responding with reverence, compassion and forgiveness becomes much easier. So does become the altering of our own thoughts.
3. GET OUT OF THE KARMIC CYCLE
“You are the product of karma of your soul. The dispositions, aptitudes, and attitudes that you were born with serve the learning of your soul.” (Zukav, The Seat of the Soul, 2014)
We are incarnated on this planet earth to awaken and to learn specific lessons. It becomes much easier to accept certain setbacks in life, when we look at life itself as an earth school. When we awaken we learn that anger and fear leads us nowhere, and as we learn to respond with love and compassion, the anger within us dissipates. What is not learned in one lifetime will be carried on to the next one. Our soul evolves through time and experiences. The same lessons will be presented to us again and again, until we learn what has to be learned. Until we choose to respond through the highest frequencies of love, rather than the lower frequencies of fear.
4. EMBRACE THE SYMPTOMS OF SPIRITUAL AWAKENING
The physical symptoms of spiritual awakening may vary from person to person. One may go through a period of physical illnesses and intense exhaustion, major tragedy or accidents, lucid dreaming, intense dreams or disrupted sleep patterns, jerks and rapid eye movements, experiencing heat, back and neck pains, tingling, feeling the presence of spirits and other dimensions, becoming sensitive to sounds and smells, changing the relationship with certain foods and drinks..etc.
During the awakening kundalini activation occurs which raises our vibration and makes us return to the Source – our Higher Self. Awakening can be very scary, especially if you are alone in it and you have nobody to turn to. You can feel as if you are going crazy. Many individuals turn towards anti-depressants, alcohol and drugs in order to numb these confusing feelings and experiences. In this process one needs patience, acceptance and guidance from a spiritual psychologist, healer or a therapist.
5. BREAK FREE FROM ADDICTIONS
We can have more than one addiction which help us to fill our empty void. It can be sex, drugs, food or anger. We cannot release our addictions until we acknowledge that we are addicted. Thus, “in order to consciously make an effort in eradicating an addiction we must stop trying to justify it.” (Zukav, The Seat of the Soul, 2014) A sex addict, for instance, will say that sex is fun and liberating and healing because it makes them feel desirable. Whereas an alcoholic, will say that alcohol helps them to relax, let go, enjoy life and live in the moment.
Our personality is made in such a way that it will resist our addictions, as long and as strongly as possible. If we will try to quit smoking, we will get offered a cigarette anywhere we go, as if the universe is telling us “have it…say yes!”. However, through our strong will we can break free from this negative karma of addictions. Every time that we will challenge our addictions, we will take a step towards wholeness.
Unfortunately, even sports and yoga and other “healthier addictions” are still addictions that fill a void. For instance, an exercise addict will be hooked on endorphins and exercise will become a compulsion. Exercising long hours everyday can injure and enter a person into exhaustion, yet the need for an energy fix becomes impossible to control.
6. FIND BALANCE THROUGH HATHA YOGA
“HA denotes the sun and the THA denotes the moon. HATHA yoga is the science of bringing about a balance between these two dimensions within the human system.” (Sadhguru, Inner Engineering, 2016) This is not an exercise. It is not about standing on your head or mastering your breath, it is about the mechanics of the body. Physical postures and the breath are used to channel and drive our energy into specific directions. The practice of hatha yoga can help us rule over our addictions and compulsions, and to find balance. Balance of energies. Balance in life.
7. LISTEN TO THE GOD WITHIN YOU
Religion is not about increasing the amount of goodness in you, but it is about “listening to the will of God as it manifests within your own psyche, listening to the inner voice in complete stillness – this is the religious life.” (A. Johnson, Balancing Heaven and Earth, 1998)
Being connected to the Soure is being whole, and it requires for us to keep realigning ourselves each day, each hour and each moment. When our Ego is aligned with our higher self we are in tune, connected, happy. In this state we can completely let go of expectations and wait for the truth to be revealed to us in Divine timing. All we have to do is listen. Listen to our inner voice. Our heart. Listen to the God within us.
8. HAVE FAITH AND TRUST THE JOURNEY
One very inspiration woman, who has also become a dear friend, wrote a book about her almost mortal accident, depicting the pain and despair of almost losing her leg and the ability to find grace in this brutal tragedy. Amberly Lago, writes: “Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations and in life sometimes it takes a little grit along with God’s grace to get through the most challenging of times….Once you own your story and embrace your imperfections, you can learn to have acceptance and then begin to truly heal and be comfortable in your own skin”. (Lago, True Grit and Grace, 2018)
Life is ever-changing. In constant movement. We own nothing. Not our job. Not our family. Not our health. All we can do is to cherish what we have today. We can choose to live in joy. Or we can choose to live in sadenss. We can choose to appreciate what we have or to complain about how little we have. Because we always have a choice. We do not know what tomorrow brings. All we can do is embrace the present moment. To love ourselves. To forgive ourselves. To forgive our enemies. To have faith. In this journey. In this life.
May your journey bring you joy, dear friend.